Slapping Kittens
by Airzel Gekisho
Summary: Airzel and Gill go on an adventure. IN COLLEGE! Rated M for swearing and general inappropriateness.


It was late at night in the college dorm at Gundalia's top university. Gill was sitting at his desk, typing away furiously at an essay that was due in a few hours. His boyfriend, Airzel, was cuddled up on the bed, playing some handheld video game.

Out of nowhere, Airzel announced that he was hungry.

"There's leftover snacks from that Lena chick's party. Should be in the fridge."

"You already ate all of the good ones, asshole. We need food."

"Look, I have to type this paper or-"

"And I have to eat. Or I'll die. Now come on. Let's go get food."

"Airzel, it's almost 2 in the goddamned morning. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I only have evening classes tomorrow. You're the idiot who's been procrastinating on your goddamned paper for your asscrack-of-dawn Brawling Ethics class. Why the hell are you even taking that, again?"

"I'm taking it because I need the credits. They don't just take any idiot they find on the street for the emperor's army. They want learned students who can out-strategize anyone in a brawl."

"And tell me, how does this Brawling Ethics class help you out-strategize your foes?"

Gill stopped typing and sighed. His partner did have a point. He had no idea why he was taking the class, nor did he have the slightest idea of how it would help him in the army. He had been told the class was an easy A, so he figured it wouldn't be too much of a hassle… it usually wasn't, but this paper was beyond ridiculous. Gill turned around in his seat and looked at the pile of blankets that hid his boyfriend.

"Alright, what do you want to eat?"

Airzel sat up, then thought about it for a moment.

"Well, Vergil's Diner isn't even open at this hour. If he's not cooking up his Funyun nachos with extra hot sauce at 2 AM, who the hell IS making food this early? We'll just have to stop at the convenience store and grab something."

"Put on some actual clothes, and let's go."

"Are you saying that my Xbox boxers aren't actual clothes?"

"No pants, no food."

Airzel grumbled and pulled on the first pair of jeans he found.

And so began their magical adventure.

It wasn't a long walk to the 24-hour convenience store. They arrived there in a few minutes. As soon as they got there, the roommates began debating about food.

"Dude. We should get this." Airzel said, holding up a bag of snacks.

"What the fuck are those even supposed to be?" asked Gill. The label on the bag was sketchy at best. "Put that shit down. Grab some Funyuns or something."

"Dude. No. We gotta get something better."

Gill sighed and picked up a bag of white cheddar cheese popcorn. "Here. Here's you goddamned snack. Now let's go. I need to finish that paper."

"Gill, you know I don't like popcorn."

"Don't you fucking sass me. Don't you EVEN fucking sass me."

Airzel grabbed another sketchy, off-brand bag of snacks. "What the hell do you think these even are?"

"They're probably Satan-particles from hell. If you eat them, hot acid rains down your throat and dissolves your testicles and turns your guts into snakes." Gill said, not looking away from the nutrition facts on the energy drink he was considering purchasing.

Airzel made a face and put the bag down.

They nearly spent an hour looking over the various snacks in the convenience store. Airzel weighed the pros and cons of each item while Gill began looking through the magazine rack.

"Hey Airzel. The front cover of this mag says that Barodius is into bestiality."

"That's fucking gross." Airzel whined as he threw a bag of chicken nugget flavored chips back onto the shelf.

"Tabloids are stupid." Gill said with a nod. He flipped through the magazine. "They have a really badly edited photo of him kissing a Lumagrowl."

"Eww... lemme see that!"

"I thought you said it was gross!"

"Well now you got me all curious!"

"You don't get to see it unless you pick your snacks."

Airzel huffed, then finally made his decision. He grabbed the bag of chicken nugget flavored chips, a bag of sketchy hot fries, and a supersized red Gatorade. He then went up to the counter.

"I want to buy these food things. And also a hot dog with no motherfucking relish." He slammed the snacks and his drink onto the counter.

"That will be money." said the sketchy cashier.

"HERE TAKE IT!" Airzel screeched as he threw his money at the cashier. He then looked down at his snacks. "FOOOOOOOD…" he said, drooling.

"Rude. Money isn't glitter." muttered the cashier as Gill paid for his shitty magazines and energy drinks.

Airzel grabbed his hot dog, gripping tightly onto the toasty bun. He took a bite as they walked out of the store.

"God damnit!"

"What's wrong?"

"There's fucking RELISH on this hot dog!" Airzel spat out some of the offending green crap onto the sidewalk. "Gill, can you lick this off?"

"Ew. No. I'm not licking your hot dog."

Airzel began giggling like the stupid, immature college student he was.

"God damnit Airzel…"

"You don't need to lick my hot dog tonight. You did that last night." Airzel said as he giggled and winked.

Gill sighed and began to drink down his energy drink. Airzel hugged him.

"I love you. I bet you didn't know that."

Gill blushed a bit. "Love you too, man."

The two later found out that the sketchy hot fries had been laced with some sort of drugs that caused them to hallucinate wildly about unicorns and bad cosplayers...and then become very horny. Sex occurred. Hot dogs were licked, if you catch my drift. Gill didn't finish his paper on time, but that was okay because the professor extended the due date.

And everything was good. And nothing hurt.

-Fin-

_A/N: Someone said to write Gill/Airzel. So I did. Now back to work on Linking Arms and Skipping._


End file.
